Top ten reasons that...

To sharpen our sense of creativity and humor (needed by all good evaluators), the annual Minnesota Evaluation Studies Institute includes a "Top 10 Reasons That ..." participant contest. Each year the completed stem is different but the participants provide the reasons; the winners receive awards! All institute participants receive a t-shirt with the printed winning reasons from the previous year's competition. For a preview of the caliber of the competition, please see below the lists from recent years.

2007 MESI Top Ten

How is program evaluation like coffee?

10. The more you use it, the more addictive it can be.

9. It wakes you up so you can deal with reality.

8. Its effects are uncertain and controversial.

7. It can go in hot and come out the same way.

6. The industry can be exploitative or it can be approached organically.

5. They both use bean counters for the quantitative requirements of the

product.

4. If the customer gets burned, you might get sued.

3. Like a coffee filter, it starts pristine and quickly gets muddy.

2. It’s great when contained, as in a utilization-focused coffee cup, but no one likes it dumped in their lap—it gets very “MESI”

1. Awful when it’s cloudy, a treat when it’s clear.
Like Caribou or Starbucks, it can often come quite dear.
When you’re looking for the good stuff, it’s almost never near. . .
Thank God you didn’t ask us how evaluation is like beer!

2005 MESI top eleven list

How is program evaluation like Minnesota weather?

11. It is ever changing; if you don’t like one thing—just wait—something new is on the way!

10. Both require endurance and a good sense of humor.

 9. Everyone has to pass a rigorous annual test of stamina and character.

 8. Both can be costly disasters.

 7. You sometimes have to be well equipped to survive its harshness.

 6. You need to relish the good and beautiful days because they may be few and far between.

 5. Program evaluation is like a Minnesota winter. The simplest of plans can quickly and unexpectedly be thrown off course.

 4. It can make you sweat or give you chills.

 3. Just like snowflakes, no two evaluators are alike.

 2. It’s mandated from ABOVE.

 1. Like Minnesota weather, program evaluation might swirl you up, rain on your parade, light up your life, or be downright electrifying!

2004 MESI top twelve list

How is program evaluation like the Mall of America?

12. You can find both in Minnesota.

11. You can get lost in the options.

10. Some people love it, some people hate it, but everybody has to go there once in a while.

 9. Only the very brave dare enter.

 8. It is a mirror reflecting the system of American society, but you would never know that without going through the entrance.

 7. Each is sustained by the big (federal projects/national chain department stores) and enriched by the small (diverse practitioners/local businesses)

 6. Each has its own way of “Snoopying” around!

 5. There is a roller coaster in the middle, which sometimes evokes screams

 4. Both involve looking for GAPs.

 3. You can spend large sums of money, waste hours of time, and feel cheap, dirty, and used when you’re done.

 2. If you don’t have a plan, you can try a lot of things, spend a lot of money, and come out asking, “Why did we do that?”

 1. Evaluators and shoppers alike know a GOOD VALUE when they see one.

2003 MESI

Top eleven reasons why program evaluation thrives in cold climates

11. For much of the year it's easier to collect hard data.

10. Most of the year we evaluate winter weather forecasts, and the rest of the year we evaluate road construction.

 9. People are already quaking in their boots.

 8. Evaluators may wear down, but they don't wear down.

 7. Hot ideas keep your warm; evaluation warms the blood.

 6. Evaluation may feel like hell, but it thrives under frigid conditions.

 5. It's the one place where evaluators can walk on water for much of the year.

 4. The cold paralyzes people's fight or flight reaction to evaluation.

 3. On a cold night, there's nothing like a warm fire, a glass of port, and a stratified random sample survey.

 2. Super-evaluativity only occurs under supercooled conditions.

 1. Some of life's best reflections happen with your tongue stuck to a metal pole.

MESI 2002

The top ten reasons why program evaluation thrives in the State of Minnesota

10. Like deer hunters, Minnesota evaluators know how to camouflage themselves in the field.

 9. Many Minnesotans believe they are made in the image of G-d, the ultimate judge.

 8. You betcha it thrives. Minnesotans have an intense need to know what they could be doing better.

 7. Minnesota is the land of 10,000 non-profits and collaboratives.

 6. L’etoile du Nord (the star of the North) is home to several evaluation “stars.”

 5. Minnesotans are too nice to say no when asked to participate in evaluations.

 4. The extreme temperature range from sweltering heat to frigid cold insures that only the toughest studies survive.

 3. Governor Ventura likes to wrestle with data and results.

 2. In Minnesota you are never more than 315 miles away from Michael Quinn Patton.

 1. Due to an ongoing attempt to validate Garrison Keillor’s claim that “all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children—and evaluators--are above average.”

MESI 2001

The top ten reasons why President George W. Bush will never attend MESI

10. He doesn't want to get his clothes dirty.

 9. MESI? What do you mean messy? There will be no mess on my watch!

 8. He can't pronounce it.

 7. He doesn't want to visit a foreign country.

 6. He doesn't speak Minnesotan any better than he speaks English or Spanish.

 5. He's afraid the evaluationists may misunderestimate him.

 4. He heard that Michael Patton, not General George Patton, would be there.

 3. He can't barbecue lutefisk.

 2. Vice-President Dick Cheney frowns on any activity that may facilitate the President's ability to think for himself.

 1. He believes in Republic evaluation-not democratic evaluation.

MESI 2000

The top ten reasons why Minnesotan evaluators stand out in a crowd

10. They're the only ones who understand why evaluation is really MESI.

 9. Lutefisk on their breath.

 8. They're the ones who brought a hot dish for lunch.

 7. The Lake Wobegon effect: They're all above average.

 6a. The cold weather keeps their brains crisp.

 6b. They can walk on water for over half the year.

 5. They're the only ones in shorts and t-shirts on 40-degree days.

 4a. They don't stand out in a crowd--they're too nice to want to outshine anyone else.

 4b. Minnesota nice is so non-committal that they don't have disagreements or make enemies.

 3. There are so many different shades of white.

 2. A Minnesotan evaluator's Likert scale ranges from "You betcha I'm satisfied" to "I'm not so satisfied 'bout 'dat 'dere."

 1. Actually you'll never find them in a crowd because they're always "oot and aboot."

MESI 1999

The top ten ways that program evaluation is different from professional wrestling

10. No former evaluator has yet become governor of a state.

 9. In program evaluation you don't have to shave your head.

 8. Body slamming is not a required evaluator competency.

 7. When an evaluation is done correctly, the clients don't feel as if they've had a body slam.

 6. Evaluation marketers have yet to design the Michael Scriven action figure.

 5. In professional wrestling, there are often head butts.

 4. Program evaluators wrestle with data, not someone named the "the minister of death."

 3. In program evaluation, we don't have names like Michael the Body Patton, Hulk Krueger, and Hacksaw Michael Scriven.

 2. In hindsight, an evaluator says, "I did not anticipate that response". A wrestler says, "I shoulda did that different!"

 1. Evaluators are too often busy improving the common good to run for governor.

MESI 1998

The top ten reasons why evaluators have more fun in Minnesota

10. They can use hot tubs in the winter as think tanks.

 9. Getting to eat five meals a day at Kistler and King's Summer Camp for wayward Evaluators-where neither lutefisk nor spam is ever served.

 8. Doing evaluation is like pulling teeth, and Minnesotans fluoridate their water.

 7. We can be represented at the Minnesota State Fair by stats on a stick.

 6a. Stoic Scandinavians won't disagree with the results.

 6b. "Minnesota nice" demands that others not tell you what they really think of your evaluation.

 5. In the farm belt, many of us can learn from our scholars and professionals out standing in the field.

 4. "UFF-PA!" is a perfect acronym for the Joint Committee Standards (Utility, Feasibility, Propriety, Accuracy.)

 3. For over half the year, they are able to walk on water.

 2. While people everywhere else are chasing after UFO's, Minnesotans are after UFE.

 1. Empowerment? Ya sure, we got them power mints in the little tin cans.

MESI 1997

The top ten reasons why the 1997 Minnesota Evaluation Studies Institute was moved from Minneapolis to St. Paul

10. The St. Paul College Club is closer the Jean King's house

 9. It's just so much prettier in St. Paul

 8. To discourage people from spending time on the phones by not being at a conference center

 7. Many of us who grew up in the 60's wanted to take over a building for old times' sake

 6. If St. Paul can engage their community in the dead of sub-zero weather with a "Winter Carnival," there must be something to learn here about program re-design and/or the art of challenging assumptions.

 5. To feel the "power and wisdom" emanating from the Governor's mansion.

 4. So the Institute's sessions can be piped into Arnie's house in hopes that he will learn to evaluate his own political stands more objectively.

 3. Minneapolis mayor Sharon Sayles Belton failed to build us a new Evaluation Center.

 2. Norm Coleman campaigned to bring MESI to St. Paul, beating out other contenders by promising to return to the DFL (Minnesota's Democratic Party.)

 1. The Institute was moved to St. Paul this year to raise revenue for St. Paul to build an arena for their new hockey team!

MESI 1996

The top ten reasons why there are so many program evaluators in Minnesota

10. Minnesota has a fixation on testing due to the creation here of the MMPI

 9. Minnesota's strong Scandinavian heritage influences our desire to be politically correct and analytical.

 8. Great opportunities in "Money-apolis."

 7. In the land of the 12-step programs, of course we need many evaluators

 6. We are the land of 10,000 programs

 5. A lot of people want to make "Minnesota nice" even nicer

 4. Those who can't do, teach; those who can't even teach, evaluate!

 3. They have been chased out of every other state in the United States.

 2. Good program evaluation requires six months darkness and sub-zero weather.

 1. Between evaluation and ice fishing, which would you choose?

For additional information about MESI, please contact:

Jean King
University of Minnesota Dept. of EdPA
330 Wulling Hall
86 Pleasant Street, S.E.
Minneapolis, MN 55455-0221
Phone: 612-626-6679
Fax: 612-624-3377
Email: kingx004@umn.edu